Archive for February, 2010

Reporting From the Field: What Would Our Conversations Be if We Quit the “Fat Talk?”

Posted in Uncategorized on February 8th, 2010 by admin – View Comments

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Some of them were in their 20‘s and 30‘s, some of them were in their 50‘s and 60’s, some of them were recovering anorexics, some of them were overweight, some of them were therapists, some of them were in treatment, all of them were women who came together to explore what it means to be in a female body.

Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to attend Indwelling IV: Living in a Female Body, organized by the Women’s Therapy Centre Institute.    What a great event.   As you may or may not remember The Women’s Therapy Centre Institute contacted me after they saw my post Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus on Skirt!  It was so nice to meet these fantastic ladies in person and to have the chance to be part of such a meaningful dialogue.

What I loved about this event and the Women’s Therapy Centre philosophy is that it’s rooted in the feminist movement which is something that a lot of us take for granted.  I know that  I do.  So to be in a room with so many women who were trailblazers of the feminist movement in the 1970‘s was really incredible.

The afternoon began with Nona Aronowitz who is the author of the book: Girldrive-Crisscrossing America, Redfinining Feminism.  Nona is in her 20’s and is a serious voice in the third wave of feminism.  I really admire what she’s doing; it’s so important to build on the feminist movement that came before us and Nona is doing that.

The amazing Cheryl Cochran re-enacted a piece from Toni Morrison’s Beloved which was about the body and had the crowd in tears by the end.  It was so very moving and Cheryl is so incredibly talented.

The big event of the afternoon was the Speakout.  Each woman was invited to come up to the microphone and share her thoughts  or experiences for 3 minutes.  There was no talk back from the crowd you just got up and said whatever you felt about being a woman, being in a female body or anything else.  Naturally for about the first three minutes, we were all staring at the microphone wondering who would be the first to get up.  Finally one brave soul went up to the microphone and just said “gratitude”.  Eventually one by one each woman got up and shared a story or her thoughts.  Some of them made us cry and some of them couldn’t stop crying because they felt so moved by everything that was happening.  It’s a very healing thing  to give a voice to your pain or your struggle in a room full of women. There’s also something about hearing other women talk about the same things you’re going through. knowing that you’re not alone in the struggle actually transforms it.

After the speakout, Courtney Martin, author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters got up and spoke.  Courtney talked about the experience of doing her book tour and speaking at colleges.  She said that there was one element that she saw over and over again while speaking to young women across the country and that was how painful it was for all of them to be in a female body.  Much of the speakout reflected the same thing.

Courtney unveiled the 2011 plan of  the Women’s Centre Therapy Institute:to take that pain and translate into action with their 2011 initiative: Endangered Species:  Preserving the Female Body.  the Women’s Therapy Centre Institute has thrown down the gauntlet and is getting ready to take it to the streets.  This is going to be a world-wide campaign that will pool resources of all the women’s organizations and groups that are out there working to destroy the elements in our culture that cause women to hate their bodies, feel uncomfortable about the way they look, or want to be anyone but who they are. There are lots of interesting plans in the works that haven’t been revealed yet but I can tell you that this is going to be BIG!!!  Stay tuned for updates about this campaign and how you can get involved.  And thank you again to Skirt! for providing a forum  the Women’s Centre Therapy Institute and me find each other!!!

This one’s for the girls (and the girl inside)

Posted in Uncategorized on February 2nd, 2010 by admin – View Comments

I’ve been doing a lot of looking back at my writing lately.  I came across this piece which is a letter that I wrote to read at the end of my performances of Thin Body Fat Mind that I did in High Schools from 2005-2008. I’m glad I kept it because it’s something that I need to remind myself of sometimes.

Dear Girls,

You look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see.  You criticize, berate, and think you need to fix it.  You ignore the inside as if it doesn’t exist.

You are blind to your gifts, your beauty, and your female exquisiteness.
You are like the hungry beggar, begging for change while sitting on a pot of gold.

You can compare yourself to others and always find ways to come up short or you can become your own advocate, get on your own team and stop waging war against yourself.

I AM THE ONE THAT I WANT.

It has taken me years to realize that when I’m tearing myself down it’s because I’m starving for my own acceptance and approval.

I AM THE ONE THAT I WANT.

It’s what I say to myself when I’m out in the world and I think I don’t look good enough.  It’s what I say to myself when I feel that I need a person to react to me a certain way; it’s what I say to myself when I feel insecure and out of my element.

I AM THE ONE THAT I WANT.

I say it because at the core of my being I know that if I can’t feel good about who I am and what I’m bringing into the world, it doesn’t matter how good I look or how many compliments I get—if I feel ugly and worthless on the inside nothing that I can do to the outside is going to make up for that.

I AM THE ONE THAT I WANT.

I say it because it immediately connects me to a place in my self where I am perfect and lovable just as I am.  In that space I feel whole and content; I’m not focused on how I look or how I think I look–in that space I have my own approval which is what I’ve been looking for all along.

So my lovelies please take my advice:  When we’ve locked ourselves out of our own hearts, only we can let ourselves back in.  Become your most trusted and adoring friend, open your heart and walk inside.  It’s there that your true beauty resides–It’s who you are and what you give out in the world.
If you can’t see all that you are, you can’t be all that you are.
We are the ones we have been waiting for.
Feel your own love, it’s all around you,
Cathy